Apoptosis, get at it -Kirsty

Has anyone else ever felt amazing about the fact that they may have just made a choice to throw their life away?
I'm probably going to be poor.
I'll be living off of generic brand corn chips and Great Value water, celebrating birthdays with matches stuck in Hostess cakes.
I'll probably screwed over several times "I'll pay your for this, and this, and this..." followed by "Tomorrow, next week, end of the month, next year, goodbye."
There will be times when my hair won't be washed in two weeks. When I'll go five days without a shower.
Probably for nothing.
I'll suffer through fucked up sleep pattern and halfassed malnutrition and never know where the fuck I am.
I'll be scrubbing my underwear with the cardboard paper towels and off-brand hand soap in the public restrooms of gas stations.
I'll break my nails fixing the speakers that'll blast away my hearing at age 40.
And I will love it all to absolute pieces.